So the first step to enacting this fantasy IRL is to ensure it’s safe, sane, and consensual (SSC), then figuring out what the fantasy is, exactly, and then talking to your partner about it. And that vulnerability has arousal potential.” What to do about itįrom spanking and blind folding, to electroplay or needle play, BDSM contains a wide range of sexual activities. S&M is about giving or receiving pain through things like spanking, whipping, humiliation, and more.Ĭorrado says, “Really, this kind of play is about radical trust because it’s a vulnerable type of play. “And the idea of being in control can be hot due to the taboo nature of rough sex and sense of authority.”ĭaddy/step-daughter, professor/student, boss/employee roleplay falls into this category. “The idea of being sexually submissive can be arousing to people who are always in control outside of the bedroom,” says Engle. Sadism and masochism (S&M) and bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission (BDSM) make up the second most popular fantasy.īDSM is basically about the consensual exchange of power in a sexual or nonsexual situation. Establish boundaries for those interactions.Ĭue S&M by Rihanna because whips and chains excite millions of Americans. If you’re in a couple, talk about whether you want it to be a one-time or ongoing encounter, and whether you’d prefer a stranger or friend. “Group sex is also a pretty accessible fantasy - you might not be able to have sex with your favorite celebrity, but you can probably find someone who is down for a threesome,” according to sex educator Cassandra Corrado with O.school. What do you think?”Īctually want group sex IRL? Good news. If you want to share with your partner - but not necessarily enact this fantasy - start by asking for consent to incorporate this kind of lingo in bed.įor example, “I’ve been thinking it might be hot to talk through a fantasy of another woman going down on you in bed. If this is simply a fantasy for you, don’t overthink it. “Those we keep to ourselves, those we share with our partners to up the steaminess during sex, and those we’d want to try in real life.” What to do about itĮvery fantasy falls into 1 of 3 categories, according to Engle. Think about it: There’s simply more bits, smells, tastes, holes, poles, and sounds than in a two-some or solo session. Threesomes, orgies, and the like also create sensory overload. The idea of multiple people wanting to have sex with you is part of the turn on.” Why can group sex be so hot? Engle explains: “In most folks’ multi-partner sex fantasies, you’re the star of the show. Group sex is the most common arousal material for Americans. Eyes glued to the screen during that Game of Thrones scene (yes, the one where Theon Greyjoy gets naked with two drop-dead queens)? Hand travel between your legs at the thought of a multi-person orgy?
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